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| 1. | YHAAAA!!!! 43!...YHAAA...43! Now wheres my baby? (9.2) | | 2. | The more she drank... The less she noticed the hideous growth. (8.9) | | 3. | "...and one for me, now another one for you..." (8.0) | | 4. | Hey Mom, I told you this AA meeting wasn't a Day care!!! (8.0) | | 5. | It's ok, I'm a baby sitter. (7.2) |
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| 1. | Bloody Hell! I can see right fucking THROUGH your head. (9.0) | | 2. | Nice boobs...Hey look you can see her cleavage too... (9.0) | | 3. | "I dropped out of school at 15 and spent the next 30 years in a haze of alcohol, cocaine and heroin, leaving me brain damaged, incoherent, incontinent and a walking punch line tolerated largely because of my great wealth. What's your excuse?" (9.0) | | 4. | Nope, no bats in there, just a lot of dust and cobwebs (9.0) | | 5. | Photo taken momets before Ozzie bit off Paris Hilton's head. (8.3) |
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| 1. | Sorry can't talk...I'm getting fucked by a purple otter right now. (9.4) | | 2. | Yes mom, I will be home for dinner.. (7.9) | | 3. | Can you hear me now? (7.8) | | 4. | You'll never guess where I'm calling from. (7.3) | | 5. | Mom I dont need a babysitter no more i am big now. (7.0) |
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| 1. | I need another drink before I watch my dad marry that whore.. (8.9) | | 2. | Even as a child Courtney love showed signs (8.7) | | 3. | Little Marcy quickly discovers her Irish heritage. (8.0) | | 4. | She deserves to wear white like the slut blowing the glass does!! I need a drink! (8.0) | | 5. | Put me at the little table, will ya. Wait til I puke on the cake. (8.0) |
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| 1. | Thanks for holding the door for me bitch! (9.0) | | 2. | Wow, she really does smell like rotten fish. (8.8) | | 3. | My eye's they burn - Where are my goggles. (8.6) | | 4. | Well at least these clothes are still on her body, thank God for small miracles. (8.0) | | 5. | I know, we'll wear hats and glasses and no one will recognize us...I'm a genius!! (7.0) |
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| 1. | Alright every back off or the little guy gets it (10.0) | | 2. | He regrets not shaving.... (9.0) | | 3. | This is my weapon, this is my gun. One is for fighting, one is for fun... (8.5) | | 4. | Ted Nugent aint got shit on me! (8.1) | | 5. | This is not what they meant when they wrote "Have the right to bare arms." (7.8) |
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| 1. | Kid, you gotta go.. you've sold me out... (9.7) | | 2. | Dude... do the truffle shuffle (9.3) | | 3. | Good Humor - Bad Calories (8.8) | | 4. | Your ass is sued Mother Fucker. I was 35lbs when I got here (8.7) | | 5. | As curiosity got the better of him, Sal poked it with an ice cream bar. (8.4) |
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| 1. | Smokin' cigarette butts! (9.4) | | 2. | Unfortunatly, the race was behind them. (8.0) | | 3. | Finally, NASCAR isn't boring. (8.0) | | 4. | Ahhhhhh, now I am in flavor country. (7.8) | | 5. | Cancer never looked so good. (7.6) |
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| 1. | Dude, isn't that your mom? (9.5) | | 2. | See, I told you this would be better then the spelling-bee. (8.8) | | 3. | Just tell them I'm Tony Romo's brother. (8.5) | | 4. | You take the blond I'll go for the brunette. (8.1) | | 5. | Damn! I thought they were supposed to come with boobs! (8.0) |
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| 1. | The Colonel delivers another StinkPalm and asks, "Do ya want a biscuit with that, Clooney?!" (8.7) | | 2. | Clooney - Colonel / Colonel - Clooney (8.0) | | 3. | The next time these two men would meet, it would be on a field of battle... (8.0) | | 4. | Do you want to see why they call me finger licken good? (7.0) | | 5. | You want some chicken wit hthat biscuit? (7.0) |
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