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| 1. | (Shoot, is that JIm Edwards? Jack Edwards? Joe... John Edwards? Damn...) "Hey...chief... wanna be my VP?" (7.0) | | 2. | "Okay, so the joke goes. a Lesbian and a black guy are running for president, and the black guy says..... Oh hey Obama." (6.3) | | 3. | When I finish this beer I'ma drop my pants and give you some change you can believe in. (6.0) | | 4. | He said "change" everyone drink. (5.7) | | 5. | I have a straw, I dip it into your glass, and I DRINK YOUR BEER! (5.5) |
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| 1. | You can’t help but look at Karen’s rack. (8.6) | | 2. | Monica was a polygamist who favored shotgun weddings. (7.3) | | 3. | I've always admired women of her caliber! (7.0) | | 4. | I never should have started dating Charlton Heston's grand daughter. (6.6) | | 5. | What do you mean you don't go south? (6.6) |
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| 1. | to recap, when attacking tokyo, Remember to look for that one cop that waves people to safety, i hate that guy! (9.0) | | 2. | "Now remember, when you come out of the water thrash around and yell a lot, but don't give them any clues about our master plan..." (7.9) | | 3. | At precisely 9 p.m. when the party is in full swing, Rodan, Mechagodzilla, Mothra and myself will storm the Nakatomi building. The rest of you fan out across the city. On my signal, unleash HELL!!! (6.8) | | 4. | Mothra, are you paying attention (6.4) | | 5. | This is where I saw that cute little manga chick. (6.4) |
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| 1. | Wait I'm getting a text from mom, Yes were having macaroni for dinner. (9.0) | | 2. | Let me guess, there's some little douche bag behind me taking a picture of my butt again. (8.8) | | 3. | Damn! Nice shoes! (8.3) | | 4. | Hey! That is the EXACT type of stool that I want in my bedroom!! (8.2) | | 5. | Dude, My Sister's been working out..Check it out! (7.4) |
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| 1. | Patrick Swayze on the set of his latest movie titled "tablecloth vest". (8.2) | | 2. | This party is Faaaabulous! (7.5) | | 3. | OMG!! Don't look now, but your boyfriend is right behind you and i think he's wearing your clothes. (7.2) | | 4. | Rick soon realized the douchebag convention was at another park across town. (7.2) | | 5. | Jesus Christ, Stacy, I can't believe you brought your dad again. We have ZERO chance of hooking up with that Vanilla Ice dude now. (7.0) |
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| 1. | Dreaming of winning the elusive "Bird Watchers Photo of the Year" contest Chester kneels to snap a photo of an extremely rare incident, a nearly identical pair of Cheeky Wobblers on full display. (10.0) | | 2. | Like yea my dad Really likes when you join us on these trips! (8.7) | | 3. | Amature astronomer, Richard 'Flash' Gordon drew closer to achieving his life long goal, viewing Uranus with his own eyes. (7.0) | | 4. | i knew this telephoto lens would come in handy someday. (6.6) | | 5. | Get the fuck out of the way can't you see i'm kneeling here (6.0) |
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| 1. | YHAAAA!!!! 43!...YHAAA...43! Now wheres my baby? (9.2) | | 2. | The more she drank... The less she noticed the hideous growth. (8.9) | | 3. | Hey Mom, I told you this AA meeting wasn't a Day care!!! (8.0) | | 4. | Breast feeding just isn't an option for Mikey. (7.6) | | 5. | It's ok, I'm a baby sitter. (7.2) |
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| 1. | Bloody Hell! I can see right fucking THROUGH your head. (9.0) | | 2. | Nice boobs...Hey look you can see her cleavage too... (9.0) | | 3. | "I dropped out of school at 15 and spent the next 30 years in a haze of alcohol, cocaine and heroin, leaving me brain damaged, incoherent, incontinent and a walking punch line tolerated largely because of my great wealth. What's your excuse?" (8.8) | | 4. | Nope, no bats in there, just a lot of dust and cobwebs (8.5) | | 5. | Photo taken momets before Ozzie bit off Paris Hilton's head. (8.3) |
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| 1. | Sorry can't talk...I'm getting fucked by a purple otter right now. (9.5) | | 2. | You'll never guess where I'm calling from. (7.7) | | 3. | Yes mom, I will be home for dinner.. (7.4) | | 4. | Can you hear me now? (7.2) | | 5. | Mom I dont need a babysitter no more i am big now. (7.0) |
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| 1. | I need another drink before I watch my dad marry that whore.. (9.0) | | 2. | Even as a child Courtney love showed signs (8.8) | | 3. | She deserves to wear white like the slut blowing the glass does!! I need a drink! (8.0) | | 4. | Put me at the little table, will ya. Wait til I puke on the cake. (8.0) | | 5. | if you have a mom like mine you would want the whole bottle (8.0) |
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